Tips on becoming a great mentor: A conversation with Zabeen Hirji

Understanding your motivation

The first step towards becoming an effective mentor is to reflect on your motivation, said Hirji.

“Consider your motivation — do it because you want to, not because you have to,” she said.

That’s because mentorship should stem from a genuine desire to make a difference in someone’s life, rather than a sense of obligation. When the intention is sincere, the relationship is that much more likely to be more impactful and rewarding.

Embrace a reciprocal mindset

The way you approach the relationship with a mentee matters, she said, and knowledge transfer is always a two-way street.

“Think of it as reciprocal — view it as an opportunity to give and to get. I have found all my mentoring relationships are two-way,” she said.

For those new to mentoring, Hirji suggests starting with established mentoring programs within your organization, industry associations, or professional networks — whatever you can find.

“These programs often provide structure and support to help you get started,” she said.

Hirji also pointed to the existence of specialized programs targeting underrepresented groups, such as women, people of color, Indigenous peoples, and people with disabilities. These initiatives not only provide mentorship opportunities but also contribute to a more inclusive workplace.

Starting informally

Mentorship doesn’t always have to begin with a formal program, she said. Hirji encourages aspiring mentors to seek out informal opportunities by engaging with potential mentees through networking events, professional groups, and social media platforms.

“Expressing your willingness to mentor can lead to informal mentoring opportunities,” she said.

Becoming a mentor also requires quite a bit of preparation. Hirji advises new mentors to leverage online resources and seek guidance from experienced mentors.

“Being well-informed will build your capability to provide valuable guidance and support,” she said. Talking to seasoned mentors and asking them to share their experiences can also provide valuable insights and help you navigate the challenges of mentorship.

“Ask them to mentor you on becoming a good mentor,” said Hirji. “Then just do it. Learn as you go. Ask your mentee for feedback.”

Effective knowledge transfer

Once a mentorship relationship is established, the focus can then shift to effective knowledge transfer. One step you can’t skip is getting to know them in-depth as a person, she said.

“Start with getting to know the mentee. Their history, their values, their work experiences, their accomplishments, their failures — and normalize this — and their ambitions,” said Hirji.

By humanizing the conversation, mentors can build a strong foundation of trust and understanding, which is crucial for a successful mentoring relationship, she said.

Setting clear objectives is another important step.

“Set some objectives for the relationship. What outcomes are they looking for? How will you measure success? How long are you both signing up for?” she said. Establishing these parameters at the outset ensures that both parties are aligned and can work towards common goals.

Building a productive relationship

Understanding each other’s working style is important to maximize the mentoring relationship.

Her advice is to discuss the preferences for communication. With everyone embracing virtual communications post-COVID, it opens the door to more options — including in-person, via video chat, or over the phone.

“Understand each other’s style,” she said. “It’s not about changing it drastically but understanding it to get the most out of the relationship.”

Open dialogue and regular communication are critical, as is providing and receiving feedback, she said. Hirji encourages mentors to “listen to learn, not to judge,” and to ask clarifying questions to foster a deeper understanding and allow you to provide constructive feedback.

Encouraging reflection is another powerful tool in a mentor’s arsenal. Mentors should prompt their mentees to reflect on their experiences and lessons learned, she said.

“Don’t rush to have an answer for everything,” said Hirji. Instead, guide the mentee through a series of questions that lead them to their own conclusions.

Facilitating networking and exposure

One of the most valuable contributions a mentor can make is to broaden their mentee’s network. Hirji recommends making “warm introductions” to people within your network and taking your mentee along to events.

“This broadens their perspective and offers a learning opportunity,” she said. Exposure to different ideas and people not only enhances the mentee’s confidence but also provides them with a broader understanding of their industry or profession.

The benefits for mentors

While the focus of mentorship is often on the growth of the mentee, that really misses half the benefit, she said. Mentors also have a lot to gain from the experience.

“People want to make a difference in the life of others. It provides meaning — helping someone grow and succeed can be very rewarding,” she said.

Beyond the personal satisfaction, mentorship offers reciprocal learning opportunities. Mentees can provide fresh perspectives and insights, which can lead to new ways of thinking and problem-solving even for the most seasoned leaders, said Hirji.

“I especially ask mentees to teach me something they think I would be interested to learn,” she said, adding that they should take the time to learn something about her, both through Internet research and through their meetings.

The mentorship process can also strengthen a lot of skills for mentors, including communication, creativity, empathy, and problem-solving, she said. It can also lead to increased self-awareness.

“Reflecting on your own experiences and providing feedback can lead to greater self-awareness into your own strengths and areas for improvement,” she said.

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